Wendell Homes (flash fiction)

Wendell Holmes cooked short order at a greasy spoon diner on East Colfax.

A very good cook, he could flip an egg with his right hand while turning a burger with his left. His gravies were never lumpy and his soups always divine.

Each morning, Wendell woke early to coffee with cream and sugar and bagels with butter. Each evening ended with ten or so beers in front of his rabbit-ear sporting Magnavox. What happened in the hours between was more drastic. He ate bits and pieces of eggs and ham, cheese and turkey, french fries and bacon slices. All day on his swollen ankles, he hid behind toasters, ducked under cabinets, and gorged in the lonely chill of the walk-in refrigerator.

How long must this have gone on? Though they noticed, and who could not, no one made mention. They just watched him grow. And grow he did. With each bite, another square millimeter popped into the toxic waste-line.

Confrontations were mostly met with anger.

Wendell turned red and lashed out. He grabbed his chest, his vision blurred.

Wendell Holmes was a very good cook.

Blueberry Blues

I forgot while grocery shopping the other day that I’m now, temporarily, alone. Well I didn’t really forget but maybe out of habit, I overbought. And in one case it was to the tune of five pounds of blueberries. That’s a lot of blueberries and there I was stuck with finding out what to do with them. I ate some, made a fruit salad and a smoothie and still had most of the box left so I decided to make a Blueberry Cobbler. Usually Teri prepares all the raw dishes and I must admit I’ve become spoiled being her taste tester. Yes, it has been nice, but I’m no slouch when it comes to cooking, so I gave it a shot, and… OMG, it came out so good. I fed it to some people at the bar and they had no idea they were eating raw and healthy food. Being that it turned out so delicious, I have to record the recipe for posterity.

Filling:

4 Cups Blueberries, whole
Set these aside for later.

1 Cup Blueberries with water to cover
1 Tbsp Chia seeds soaked for about five minutes
¼ Cup Coconut oil, liquefied
¼ Cup Honey

Blend these ingredients well and pour over the whole blueberries. Dehydrate for an hour to soften the berries and marry the flavors.
Then chill it in the fridge while you make the crunchy stuff.

Crunchy Stuff:

1 Cup Walnuts
1 Cup Dates, medjools are best
1 tsp Vanilla extract
1 pinch Celtic Sea Salt
A little Agave to taste

Put these in a processor until you have a rough texture. You might have to add a little more agave to get a good clump. When the processor starts thumping across the counter, you got it right.Put the crunchy stuff on top of the filling and put it back into the dehydrator for 5 hours. It is finished, as God would say.

Needing support now

My wife and kids left today for an extended vacation in Cali. Well, a vacation for the kids but school for Terilynn. She'll be at the Living Light Inst. I think it's a great opportunity for her and the family as a whole, but it's going to be hard for me. Having her around keeps me pretty honest in what I eat, though not always what I drink. I'll really miss her and already can't wait til they get back. Anyway, I'll need some support and have joined the raw food rehab (don't know how to make that a link). Hope this all works out great.

Just Checkin' in

I've been working lots of hours lately and haven't had time to really process my thoughts. The bar I work at is a tough place to be raw vegan in. People don't have any grasp of the concept at all. I can tell them about it four times and they still look at me in horror when I tell them I don't eat meat. My family came up for lunch the other day and I fixed my wife a salad, explaining to my work-mates that she is raw-vegan and one of them said "oh, I'm sorry. Is she weak and feeble." No. I explained to him that she has a hypothyroid condition and that we wanted to follow a generally healthier lifestyle. I saw the sadness in his eyes as I told him I hadn't eaten meat since Christmas and I felt that he truly felt sorrow for me. If I couldn't eat meat how could I ever enjoy life. Why even get up in the morning? Maybe I need to get up earlier to find me a different job. But would that really solve anything.

People don't understand because first of all they find it impossible to believe someone could maintain health without eating carcinogins. This seems to be the very flaw in thinking that keeps our country obese and hooked on pharmaceuticals. It's a 'mob rules' type of mentality.

Should I care about what these people think about my diet? No. And I shouldn't feel like I need to make excuses for it. I eat this way because I want to.

If you don't like it you can kiss my greens.

Placemat NRCR

Neglect to nurture and to teach and feed
Respect what can happen when we just let it bleed
Conceal the emotion and the love down deep
Reveal consequences of seeds sown, now reap

Neglect to be the one who teaches the rules
Respect the courts decision in the house of fools
Conceal history and biological truths
Reveal lies hidden in the souls of shoes

Neglect to pass on a basic knowledge of health
Respect when the cancers eat away at wealth
Conceal health costs wrapped up in ice cream
Reveal that it's real and none was a dream

Neglect to move forward and not stay in the past
Respect where your elders have visited last
Conceal nothing more as it eats up your heart
Reveal that the plan is for a brand new start

Time flies

I hadn't realized until just this minute that I haven't posted in over a week. My 3-day juice went pretty good but right after I was back to my old tricks. It's hard to break bad habits when you've been around for several decades but I really need to because I don't feel like I'm making the progress I should be. I have lost 40 lbs and am down to 220. That's great! But it could be better if could only stop drinking coffee and alcohol. I think I'll concentrate on the alcohol and then try to drop the coffee.

On day I'll be in great shape bcause I'm not going back to that cooked poison again.

Health Kick

I'm starting a 3-day juice fast today to cleanse my body and mind as well as give my digestive/eliminative organs a break. I need my battery recharged.

Lots of physical activity and mental stress combined with some alcohol consumption has me feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. I'll use this oppurtunity to try to get off the coffee too.

I'll keep it simple and cheap. Orange and grapefruit in the AM. Carrot, beet, spinach or apple celery the rest of the day.

I'll take a nut mylk bag to work with me to make any necessary juices there.

Placemat, Wrath of the Grapes

Woke in the morning
With red lips
Cracked and split
Brushed and spit
Residues of the night
The fog slowly lifts
Lemon and rejuvelac
Bananas and cacao
Back to life now
Early afternoon
Half day gone
No sad song
Just the wrath of the grapes

What is that glow?

Raw foodies are so passionate about their diet. The food tastes so wonderful and it's soooo good for your body and mind and spirit. Is this for real? Do I have that glow?

I think I do. I think I'll ride my bicycle to work all week. Probably lose 5 lbs and another inch off my waistline. I can feel my entire ribcage. And what is this other bone? I don't remember having that there. Feels weird and out of place. My brain feels tingly when I drink that coconut juice. And that green stuff has me walking a foot off the ground. Why is this happening? Is it scientific?

Placemat #2

I started this blog as a journal of my life entering into a lifestyle of Raw and Vegan. It's as much for myself as anyone else; something to look back on as well as something current to keep me involved and motivated. I need constant motivation as being 43 years old, I'm very well entrenched in my behaiviors. For instance, when I'm bored or idle, as I am right now, I reach for food which leads to another behaivior of reaching for bad food which leads to eating some cheese or grabbing some chips with my guacamole.

Now, all in all, this is not an easy diet or way of life to begin with, and it's extra hard working in a bar-food situation. But it is important to me to overcome all this and move my mind into a state where it's somewhat unaffected by outside influences. In other words, I want to be free of the affect these influences have upon me. I'm not saying I want to free myself of these people as much as I just want to free my mind.

Free my mind of expectations.

Free my mind of behaivioral responses.

My mind can't be free until I let it be.

What did you say?

My wife and I've been doing these videos for her site, The Daily Raw Cafe.com. They're fun to do and inspirational to me, or maybe just motivational. And following this diet I think takes constant motivation. It is so hard. People ask me about it all the time since they've noticed my changing body. When I tell them what I eat, basically, they just look at me sideways and... "Well that diet won't work for me cause I gotta have my sodas." "Is a baked potato okay on the raw food diet?" The truth is what I tell them. You can eat whatever you want, but if you want noticable results, it better be raw and vegan. No Sharon, we do not put raw eggs in our smoothies.

Starting to feel at home

Wow. I've reached the last loop in my old belt. My pants are sagging like a burlap sack race and my shirts are two sizes too big. It feels great!

We went to a raw potluck Saturday and that was a nice bit of encouragement. Talked to a guy about salt and how it's related to water retention. He says by cutting it out of your diet completely you can shed 10 - 15 lbs of water weight. Recomends reading some Douglas Graham.

I do eat a lot of salt. It's in all my recipes, salads, and most of my veggie juices. My favorite snack is tomato and salt. Olives , pickles, and everything I add to the plate. I tried some dulse flakes on my tomato salad today. Must have to use a lot more of that. (Dulse is a great source of iodine at 220% per tsp). I've also heard that iodine is esential in getting the toxins back out of my fat ass.

The most important thing though, to me, is that my mood is now very light and I just feel happy.

Gardens are God's gift. We must protect our right to grow our own food.

Soil. Mine was a super-dense clay which I've turned into a nutrient-rich loam with composted leaves and veggie scraps. It is a little bit of labor though.

Play in the Dirt. Dig a hole, put the dirt in your hands, put your hands in the dirt. It'll quiet your mood. It'll make you feel at home here on planet Earth.

Detox. After thirty days 100% raw, except for the coffee, my glands are swollen and my nose is running faster than Carl Lewis. My energy is fluctuating like the stock market on Fridays. I feel like I've been ten rounds with Mike Tyson. Not really that bad and I wouldn't last ten seconds with Tyson anyway.



But coincidentally, my wife, who's been juice feasting for 73 days, had the exact same symptoms at day thirty. No bull.



I work in an aged sports bar. We serve Mexican food, burgers, fries, steaks, and other grilled or fried fare. I'm lucky in that I work the line and cold table. That means I mainly stay out of the grease and smoke, but there are a lot of temptations right in my face. The most tempting of all is the shredded cheese. OMG I love cheese. I know I can live without it and I know it's bad for me but every time I make a taco or burrito and touch that cheddar, I want to stuff a handful of it in my mouth. But for some reason I'm able to stop myself. I am able to stop. Me, stop.

Happy Birthday, Bishop

I feel incredible. The endorphins are racing around my head and there's this great feeling in my gut. It's not hunger or fullness. It's just like an amazing wonderful feeling of well-being. Where has this feeling been? I can't even remember when I last felt this good.

I've lost a few more pounds and a couple of people actually commented on it. (When you get to 260, twenty lbs is almost unnoticeable But I can feel it. I played basketball with my 16 year-old last night and hung in there pretty good. A little sore today but not much. It's amazing how much energy I have and I've been hardly eating at all. Well comparatively anyway. I even beat him one game.

Today, my son Bishop turns five. Happy Birthday, Bishop. He a big, rough kid and I know it's gonna take some hard work to keep up with him. Sports are right around the corner for him and I want to be in the best shape of my life so I can be right there the whole way.

I'm gonna be hitting jump shots and finger rolls when I'm eighty.
Man, I'm really on the raw now. Feeling great at 238.

Struggling to understand why I'm not losing weight, I begin to talk about it with my wife and myself about this situation. We conclude that my entire body must be full of toxins that have to be flushed out somehow and currently the organs that do the flushing might still be dealing with some incoming artillary fire. I've believed this since my first raw experience in 2004; my body cannot detoxify if it's still busy with the daily crap. So the toxins continue to be stored until the barrage of poison stops long enough to get the organs in good enough shape to their jobs.

Even small amounts might be blocking my progress. So I'm thinking this and I realize that I've lied to myself in saying that I'm 100% raw. I'm not. Coffee isn't raw. And neither is marijuana for that matter. Yeah I said it, marijuana is not raw. Not in the way I've been ingesting it. So much for this medical marijuana revolution taking place right now in Denver. (I don't think it's good for obbesity).

Bottom line: Until I stop consuming these toxins, my body won't detox.

It's frustrating being overweight in the first place and even more so when a tried and true method isn't working.

But I will not give up this time. I'll stop it with the coffee and the weed, fine. I'll get more sun and excersise harder. Whatever it takes, I've got to get this body back into shape.

Wish me luck. I'm still 242 lbs. This is gonna be a lot harder than I thought.

Coffee is not raw food?

Nineteen days on the raw man and I think I might be losing it. The weight that is. I'm at 242 now. Not really feeling any lighter and have some really itchy skin and powerful headaches. I have a history of migraines anyway so don't know if the recent ones are associated with detox or not.

My wife says coffee isn't a raw food item. I know - but it's my favorite beverage next to beer and I've givin up the beer, so can it really be that bad to at least have this one small vice?

Colorado's finally warming up a little. Some of my herbs are starting to green and as I peel back the dead leaves and branches that feed and protect the soil during the winter, I find there's a lot of food still out there. I uncovered some chard, sage, oregano, and chocolate mint. Then I dug up a batch of jerusalem artichokes. They're a root vegetable that are much like a parsnip but a little sweeter. My wife took some pictures and will probably post them on the daily raw cafe. It feels good to get my hands back in the dirt. Digging and working the soil has a wonderful balancing effect on my brain. It's one of those things I can do and not feel like I'm wasting any time.

I'll try to write more, but have been having issues with the mental timing. Like when I have time to write, I keep drawing a blank. The 'placemates' that I write are done at work and I call them that because I originally write them on placemats and then transfer them to the computer. I try to keep them raw and mostly in their original state. But I do work in a bar so they can be a little off the wall and at times require censorship. Thanks for your encouragement.

Thank God I married the perfect woman

My wife is so great. She's (not) cooking through the Complete Book of Raw and keeps pushing all these great dishes on me. Because she's currently juice feasting, I've been getting to test it all and it's mostly delicious.

I've been back 100% raw now for 5 days and for some reason today I've been really hungry. Non-stop. It's hard no-doubt to stay away from the stove. Staring into the refrigerator, my mind drifts on about cheese quesadillas and beef tacos. I can eat a lot and keep eating. No wonder I'm so fat right now, killing myself with cooked food.

Would the cooked food be that bad in general if I was in better control? Not according to Nature's First Law. Yeah, I've been reading that book again. I find it a great inspiration when my mind is telling me it'll be okay to have nachos and beer. A reminder that "cooked food is poison".

And it does help tremendously that Terilynn is consuming raw too. She wants me to make her a tune for her website. Sounds like my next project. NPI

Placemat #1

Working in a bar, you make a lot of connections. Residents and workers from the shops around the neighborhood frequent places for a number of years. You get to know these people pretty good and then... they die.

One, two, sometimes three in a year. After funerals guests come back to the bar and eat and drink. They tell stories of how great a guy or girl the deceased was. Some true, many lies. Doesn't matter, just another life coming to an end; completion.

The saddest cases though are the cancer victims. With cancer, there's a stage just before death that's like a walking dead. People look as if they're already decomposing as the cancer turns the final cells against them. It's plain to see that they've past the point-of-no-return.

They come to the bar to say, without literally saying, their goodbyes. Whispers must echo in their heads. Their display, while heartbreaking, is a reminder to us all that this could happen to any of us and will happen to probably half. Just keep drinking to forget and maybe this brutal thief will not take us. We're all aware of the horrific way that we've treated our own bodies.

No one certain about why. I mean by that; if a heavy smoker dies from lung cancer, we blame the cigarettes and likewise if a heavy drinker dies from liver cancer we blame the alcohol. But we know people who smoke and drink more than the other and they haven't died yet of have from a less painless death.

I watched my mom die in 2008. She was a saint, a prayer warrior for many. She never drank or smoked but got breast cancer that spread to her bones before it was discovered.

I just stayed with her and held her hand, thinking what could she have done to deserve this awful, painful death. None of us prayed allowed, though we'd on many occasions witnessed her powerful prayers. I don't know if any of us prayed in silence. There wasn't much faith left in our family, and the only one who could or would restore it with words could not speak.

It was such a long, drawn-out, horrible ordeal that even as her life left her there was a feeling of relief that we all shared. It was over and we said she was in a better place. Then we got some cheeseburgers. What?

I don't know why but when there's a death among family or close friends, we eat. And we don't eat any health food either.

And tonight, the friends of a bar regular, a cancer victim, have flooded in to the bar and ordered shots, beer, hamburgers, steaks, and french fries. Why do we eat in the wake of such a horrible death. Is it a dare to the carcinogens or a concession that they'll soon get us all?

Ever feel like work is just wasting your time?

I've been cooking for 26 years now and that's a long time. It wouldn't be so bad but as I've done other time wasting projects, I've actually gone backwards in the industry.

Could it really be true that things happen for a reason?

Maybe I'm hoping so as long as the reason justifies all this waste of time going from one crazy interest to another. For example, right now I'm building a cigar box guitar. It's very engaging and keeps my creative juices flowing but it's just another in a long line of dropped hobbies and half-baked business ventures. I'm sure my wife at the very least shares my frustration. She's probably sick and F-ing tired of it. God bless her. She's a saint.

This cooking job though is not paying much and there's no chance for advancement but it does allow me extra time to waste. And with that, I plan to waste it very thoroughly.

Make me raw food and I will eat it. That's my new motto. And please save me from this viscious appetite.

What am I doing?

I'm a man who's trying to get healthy by eating only raw foods. It's very difficult and a couple of aspects of my life make it more difficult. 1) I cook in a bar. 2) I like to drink beer.

I started the year off with a juice feast and that lasted about a week. Then I started just eating raw food and that was easy until I had to take a trip to my seventy-year-old father's wedding. So I'm back and trying to recover from a couple of nights of beer fest.

My wife also has a blog, The Daily Raw Cafe, and she's preparing all the recipes from "The Complete Book of Raw." I am her official taste tester since at the moment and probably for a while, she's on a juice feast.

My goal is to be 100% raw and lose 80lbs and get my health back. I'm 42 yrs and it sucks waking up with sore muscles and dragging myself out of bed every morning. I'm also a cook in a sports bar which is a pretty bad influence constantly in my face.

This is what I'm doing and I just wanted to get that out of the way so I can write some crazy funny blogs in the future and will also be commenting on at least 300 recipes that my wonderful wife will be preparing.

Thank you and have fun.

If it ain working...

Since I was nine years old, I hung around kitchens with my mom and grandma, partly just to get a taste of what smelled so great. Started cooking a few dishes soon after and really got connected with Mom and with the foods I put into my body. Mom cooked beakfast and dinner everyday without fail. She was never sick or too tired, never forgot about drinks or a starch, veggie or protien. Burned the bread sometimes but we never went without iced tea.

Back then, what we were eating was considered to be a healthy, well-rounded meal. Maybe it's still considered healthy but I no longer buy into it. The only reason I changed my thinking about this is that when I ate like this, I gained weight and felt like crap.

Ever feel like food's produced like an addictive drug instead of being served-up as nutritive? Seems like the food industry has a bigger hold on us than even the pharmaceutical pimps. It's easier for them too because we don't look at the actual substance as being bad, but instead blame those who don't metabolize or who overeat.

I get fat easily unless I'm eating only raw foods. And raw foods don't seem to be addictive either. If I try to eat 80%, or mainly raw, within a couple of weeks, I notice that I'm eating mainly cooked.

The only way that I lose weight is all the way raw. It sucks sometimes and seems unfair but at least I know there is a way. I know it works from experience and I know what doesn't work.

It's freezing cold outside here in Denver, Colorado. Snow has blanketed my entire backyard and garden for about a month now. But the sun is out and it's a beautiful Sunday morning. I took the kitchen scraps out to the compost pile, dogs at my heels. They're not too interested in the contents of the bucket, tea bags and veggie peelings, just happy to see me outside. I can't understand their lack of interest because they eat grasses, tomatoes, and root vegetables straight from the plant or ground. Must be some way that humans devalue the produce. I love it though. And I love gardening and eating straight from ground.

Anyway, on my way to the compost pile which is at the furthest spot from the house, I passed through the garden. Ruins from last crop is still poking out here and there. Sqirrel tracks show me they're still harvesting. And then I noticed a couple of sage plants were still alive, then some mint and even a little parsley. But the weirdest one of all was this row of chard that I planted last spring and gave us greens all summer was still alive. Chard was peeping out of the snow which I swept away to reveal the entire, healthy row.

Raw food is for everyone. My wife has a wonderful blog at www.thedailyrawcafe.com which is full of recipes, thoughts, ideas, experiments, etc. I say it's wonderful because it is, not just because she is. We try hard everyday to be healthy and sometimes it's discouraging and sometimes amazing. But the key is we try hard everyday. Raw food is delicious, nutritious, exciting and full of life. I'd like to use those advantages to better myself, family, and friends.