Out of respect for the Earth and my body

Look how great she looks. Terilynn, the love of my life and my main motivation for trying to be healthy. She said something to me last week, "isn't it good to know you have someone to grow old with?" When she said it I first thought of growing old and that kind of scared me; but I did find it comforting that I would have such a great companion. Comfort and companion; that does sound old.

The thing that scares me though about growing old is that I won't be in good health to enjoy life. And really, with the way I've been treating my body recently, it's not going to be in any shape for the golden years.

The path is clear to me right now. For the present, for the future. For myself, for my love, for my children. I have to take care of this vessel.

My mom always taught me that my body is the temple of Christ. I knew she meant that I should take care of it but why didn't make sense. I thought it ridiculous that the all powerful god of my Christian upbringing would fit into my body. And hopefully he wasn't about to hold church up in there. But I think it does go a little deeper.

Not litteral, and not only spiritual but representational. When one looks at a body like the one I've abused, they see the neglect and mismanagement. They sense the lack of control that lets such a temple dilapidate. It shows a lack of respect for one's only connection to Earth. And as temples, I feel that we are god's connection to the Earth. And God can be whatever your life experiences have formed him to be. Even the agnostic must have some belief system that includes a power greater than us, even if it's not controlling us or watching over us but maybe just observing.

There is something happening to our planet right now. It's the direct result of our lack of respect for our surroundings and our own bodies. It's as if we've become a cancer to our planet and if so, it must shed us in order to survive. I'm sure it needs some us for general maintenance but it won't be the ones of us that trash it. It'll be those who show respect and love for all it's wonders and natural gifts.

Knowing this, I need to start here with me. I need to stop playing around like there are no consequences for my actions and take care of this problem in any way that I am able . Protecting my health, teaching my kids, reducing our consumption, and reversing our impact to bring about positive changes to our environment.

We've almost become vegetarian. My wife is raw-vegan. The kids eat very little meat and I refuse to bring raw meat into the house. I've been trying to be raw vegetarian but it's time to stop trying and start doing. I can't wait any longer because my planet, my god, my wife, my family needs me right now to be in the best of shape and as I grow old to do so in good health.

So at this time I make an oath to myself and to my environment to go forth with respect to my body and to god's earth. I will only put in those foods and beverages that keep me running at optimal levels. Raw, mostly organic, mostly local produce.

Needing support now

My wife and kids left today for an extended vacation in Cali. Well, a vacation for the kids but school for Terilynn. She'll be at the Living Light Inst. I think it's a great opportunity for her and the family as a whole, but it's going to be hard for me. Having her around keeps me pretty honest in what I eat, though not always what I drink. I'll really miss her and already can't wait til they get back. Anyway, I'll need some support and have joined the raw food rehab (don't know how to make that a link). Hope this all works out great.

Just Checkin' in

I've been working lots of hours lately and haven't had time to really process my thoughts. The bar I work at is a tough place to be raw vegan in. People don't have any grasp of the concept at all. I can tell them about it four times and they still look at me in horror when I tell them I don't eat meat. My family came up for lunch the other day and I fixed my wife a salad, explaining to my work-mates that she is raw-vegan and one of them said "oh, I'm sorry. Is she weak and feeble." No. I explained to him that she has a hypothyroid condition and that we wanted to follow a generally healthier lifestyle. I saw the sadness in his eyes as I told him I hadn't eaten meat since Christmas and I felt that he truly felt sorrow for me. If I couldn't eat meat how could I ever enjoy life. Why even get up in the morning? Maybe I need to get up earlier to find me a different job. But would that really solve anything.

People don't understand because first of all they find it impossible to believe someone could maintain health without eating carcinogins. This seems to be the very flaw in thinking that keeps our country obese and hooked on pharmaceuticals. It's a 'mob rules' type of mentality.

Should I care about what these people think about my diet? No. And I shouldn't feel like I need to make excuses for it. I eat this way because I want to.

If you don't like it you can kiss my greens.

Health Kick

I'm starting a 3-day juice fast today to cleanse my body and mind as well as give my digestive/eliminative organs a break. I need my battery recharged.

Lots of physical activity and mental stress combined with some alcohol consumption has me feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. I'll use this oppurtunity to try to get off the coffee too.

I'll keep it simple and cheap. Orange and grapefruit in the AM. Carrot, beet, spinach or apple celery the rest of the day.

I'll take a nut mylk bag to work with me to make any necessary juices there.

Placemat #2

I started this blog as a journal of my life entering into a lifestyle of Raw and Vegan. It's as much for myself as anyone else; something to look back on as well as something current to keep me involved and motivated. I need constant motivation as being 43 years old, I'm very well entrenched in my behaiviors. For instance, when I'm bored or idle, as I am right now, I reach for food which leads to another behaivior of reaching for bad food which leads to eating some cheese or grabbing some chips with my guacamole.

Now, all in all, this is not an easy diet or way of life to begin with, and it's extra hard working in a bar-food situation. But it is important to me to overcome all this and move my mind into a state where it's somewhat unaffected by outside influences. In other words, I want to be free of the affect these influences have upon me. I'm not saying I want to free myself of these people as much as I just want to free my mind.

Free my mind of expectations.

Free my mind of behaivioral responses.

My mind can't be free until I let it be.

What did you say?

My wife and I've been doing these videos for her site, The Daily Raw Cafe.com. They're fun to do and inspirational to me, or maybe just motivational. And following this diet I think takes constant motivation. It is so hard. People ask me about it all the time since they've noticed my changing body. When I tell them what I eat, basically, they just look at me sideways and... "Well that diet won't work for me cause I gotta have my sodas." "Is a baked potato okay on the raw food diet?" The truth is what I tell them. You can eat whatever you want, but if you want noticable results, it better be raw and vegan. No Sharon, we do not put raw eggs in our smoothies.

Starting to feel at home

Wow. I've reached the last loop in my old belt. My pants are sagging like a burlap sack race and my shirts are two sizes too big. It feels great!

We went to a raw potluck Saturday and that was a nice bit of encouragement. Talked to a guy about salt and how it's related to water retention. He says by cutting it out of your diet completely you can shed 10 - 15 lbs of water weight. Recomends reading some Douglas Graham.

I do eat a lot of salt. It's in all my recipes, salads, and most of my veggie juices. My favorite snack is tomato and salt. Olives , pickles, and everything I add to the plate. I tried some dulse flakes on my tomato salad today. Must have to use a lot more of that. (Dulse is a great source of iodine at 220% per tsp). I've also heard that iodine is esential in getting the toxins back out of my fat ass.

The most important thing though, to me, is that my mood is now very light and I just feel happy.

Gardens are God's gift. We must protect our right to grow our own food.

Soil. Mine was a super-dense clay which I've turned into a nutrient-rich loam with composted leaves and veggie scraps. It is a little bit of labor though.

Play in the Dirt. Dig a hole, put the dirt in your hands, put your hands in the dirt. It'll quiet your mood. It'll make you feel at home here on planet Earth.

Detox. After thirty days 100% raw, except for the coffee, my glands are swollen and my nose is running faster than Carl Lewis. My energy is fluctuating like the stock market on Fridays. I feel like I've been ten rounds with Mike Tyson. Not really that bad and I wouldn't last ten seconds with Tyson anyway.



But coincidentally, my wife, who's been juice feasting for 73 days, had the exact same symptoms at day thirty. No bull.



I work in an aged sports bar. We serve Mexican food, burgers, fries, steaks, and other grilled or fried fare. I'm lucky in that I work the line and cold table. That means I mainly stay out of the grease and smoke, but there are a lot of temptations right in my face. The most tempting of all is the shredded cheese. OMG I love cheese. I know I can live without it and I know it's bad for me but every time I make a taco or burrito and touch that cheddar, I want to stuff a handful of it in my mouth. But for some reason I'm able to stop myself. I am able to stop. Me, stop.

Happy Birthday, Bishop

I feel incredible. The endorphins are racing around my head and there's this great feeling in my gut. It's not hunger or fullness. It's just like an amazing wonderful feeling of well-being. Where has this feeling been? I can't even remember when I last felt this good.

I've lost a few more pounds and a couple of people actually commented on it. (When you get to 260, twenty lbs is almost unnoticeable But I can feel it. I played basketball with my 16 year-old last night and hung in there pretty good. A little sore today but not much. It's amazing how much energy I have and I've been hardly eating at all. Well comparatively anyway. I even beat him one game.

Today, my son Bishop turns five. Happy Birthday, Bishop. He a big, rough kid and I know it's gonna take some hard work to keep up with him. Sports are right around the corner for him and I want to be in the best shape of my life so I can be right there the whole way.

I'm gonna be hitting jump shots and finger rolls when I'm eighty.
Man, I'm really on the raw now. Feeling great at 238.

Struggling to understand why I'm not losing weight, I begin to talk about it with my wife and myself about this situation. We conclude that my entire body must be full of toxins that have to be flushed out somehow and currently the organs that do the flushing might still be dealing with some incoming artillary fire. I've believed this since my first raw experience in 2004; my body cannot detoxify if it's still busy with the daily crap. So the toxins continue to be stored until the barrage of poison stops long enough to get the organs in good enough shape to their jobs.

Even small amounts might be blocking my progress. So I'm thinking this and I realize that I've lied to myself in saying that I'm 100% raw. I'm not. Coffee isn't raw. And neither is marijuana for that matter. Yeah I said it, marijuana is not raw. Not in the way I've been ingesting it. So much for this medical marijuana revolution taking place right now in Denver. (I don't think it's good for obbesity).

Bottom line: Until I stop consuming these toxins, my body won't detox.

It's frustrating being overweight in the first place and even more so when a tried and true method isn't working.

But I will not give up this time. I'll stop it with the coffee and the weed, fine. I'll get more sun and excersise harder. Whatever it takes, I've got to get this body back into shape.

Wish me luck. I'm still 242 lbs. This is gonna be a lot harder than I thought.

Thank God I married the perfect woman

My wife is so great. She's (not) cooking through the Complete Book of Raw and keeps pushing all these great dishes on me. Because she's currently juice feasting, I've been getting to test it all and it's mostly delicious.

I've been back 100% raw now for 5 days and for some reason today I've been really hungry. Non-stop. It's hard no-doubt to stay away from the stove. Staring into the refrigerator, my mind drifts on about cheese quesadillas and beef tacos. I can eat a lot and keep eating. No wonder I'm so fat right now, killing myself with cooked food.

Would the cooked food be that bad in general if I was in better control? Not according to Nature's First Law. Yeah, I've been reading that book again. I find it a great inspiration when my mind is telling me it'll be okay to have nachos and beer. A reminder that "cooked food is poison".

And it does help tremendously that Terilynn is consuming raw too. She wants me to make her a tune for her website. Sounds like my next project. NPI